Emily Quinton writes about raising four neurodivergent children who have needed different educational settings and a home-life that might look different to other people's but works for them.
This really resonated with me, we do family meal times in front of the TV because my eldest daughter has misophonia, so she wears loops and we have the TV loud enough for her to be ok with us eating. We all watch the next episode of something we all want to see. That's our bonding time. We also don't get out as a family very much, all needing down time (chronic illness also in the mix) but it works for us. We home educated, primary for both girls, then one chose to go for secondary, the other chose to stay home ed till Alevels. We're out the other side of childhood, oldest starting her master's degree and youngest looking at work options, onto the next adventures!
This is a really upbeat read Emily about a situation which in reality can be challenging and unpredictable. I think intuition is everything. Thanks for sharing x
Hi Emily, I really enjoyed reading this and am glad I found you! I’m a single parent-carer with four daughters. My next book is about education and the challenges we face as a neurodivergent family. Look forward to reading more of your words x
Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply! That’s such a good point- I wonder how much of it is the parenting hangover from our own childhoods. We did a load of stuff too and the things that stuck are things we truly loved. Having the opportunity to try things we chose ourselves was a bonus, as experimenting is a great way to figure out what you like (or don’t!).
I guess there are many ways of looking at it - I’m sure there are kids who wished their parents pushed them when they were given the option to choose not to, and those who resent being made to.
Thanks for helping me think of it beyond being a ‘wrong or right’. I also see the amount of activities my nieces and nephews do and wonder what they might say about it in a few years time!
Need to buy some balls! We live rurally and can’t walk to places from home so learning to ride his bike was really painful - and now he’s just not keen. I guess just another lesson in embracing the child you have, not the one you thought you’d have!
What you said there is so interesting… That whichever way we go, there’s a chance our children will think we should have done something differently. And I suppose that goes for all of parenting. So all we can do is whatever we think is best, in that moment, for them and for us as a family. X
Great to read thanks! Like all parenting (I assume 🤣) when you’ve sorted one stage, another rolls in. What’s on my mind at the moment is ‘extra curricular activities’ (and especially sport as we have some 9 year old boy hormones stirring)…..we too have a lot of unscheduled time at home- but being neurodivergent too, I wonder if I’m being selfish- as the thought of having to schedule even more things in is overwhelming. I’ve been meaning to ask other parents, as I just feel clueless and like I’m breaking an unwritten rule of parenting and should know better? Or possibly fatigued from having to follow up all the things I’ve tried to chase in the past, which have never materialised (oh yes we’re inclusive…..radio silence……). I’d love to know what other people’s thoughts or experiences are?
I love that you have brought this up. I was raised doing lots of different classes and clubs and sometimes I liked it and sometimes I really didn’t want to go but I had to. With my kids, I put them in for a few different classes when they were younger (ballet/football) and as soon as they wanted to stop, they stopped. Now, they tell me they don’t want to do anything and I don’t make them.
My feeling is that taking a self directed approach and letting them decide for themselves what they would like to learn more about or do will help them to commit to it when they start.
Totally hear you on feeling you don’t want to organise another thing and feeling fatigued - me too, and for that reason, I have often questioned whether I’m doing the right thing. But I’m having a rare chapter of feeling quite relaxed about it at the moment.
On movement: my pretty active boys have got skateboards and they love going to the park and whizzing down the hill sitting on them. We also take a ball to the park, or did in the summer, to play football or throw and catch. And a new trick I found that works with my youngest, who always wants to be carried but is now five and very heavy, is to play tag on the way to wherever we are going x
Thanks for sharing this. I relate to so much! One of my kids almost never eats dinner with the rest of us (and we usually do kitchen or couch), it's been so much better for everyone. Dinner is not the only time to connect, but other people struggle to understand. The part about your sister, I could've written it myself. And the need to be just us 4, yes!
I loved reading this as a Mom to two ASD toddlers. What you do for yourself you truly do for us all. This made me feel very seen and held, like I'd like for even my own children to feel.
I enjoyed reading this and it resonated. I understand the sadness of not being able to spend that time as a family doing things. It's so good to hear your children are all good at advocating from themselves, you've clearly done a great job. The circumstances ard difficult but its no ones fault - but the education system, trying to fit everyone into an efficient box, exacerbates everything. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Emily I loved reading this. You are such a wonderful advocate.
Hope you are all keeping well x
Thanks Jenn! x
This really resonated with me, we do family meal times in front of the TV because my eldest daughter has misophonia, so she wears loops and we have the TV loud enough for her to be ok with us eating. We all watch the next episode of something we all want to see. That's our bonding time. We also don't get out as a family very much, all needing down time (chronic illness also in the mix) but it works for us. We home educated, primary for both girls, then one chose to go for secondary, the other chose to stay home ed till Alevels. We're out the other side of childhood, oldest starting her master's degree and youngest looking at work options, onto the next adventures!
So good to hear your experiences too. Thank you for sharing!
thank you so much for sharing this. These examples of how families flex and bend to suit their children's needs are just so interesting and helpful x
This is a really upbeat read Emily about a situation which in reality can be challenging and unpredictable. I think intuition is everything. Thanks for sharing x
Thank you for your kind words! ☺️
Wonderful piece, I'm also considering Steiner for my son as a possibility for secondary, great to hear your positive experience!
Thank you! ☺️
Hi Emily, I really enjoyed reading this and am glad I found you! I’m a single parent-carer with four daughters. My next book is about education and the challenges we face as a neurodivergent family. Look forward to reading more of your words x
Oh your next book sounds really interesting!
Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply! That’s such a good point- I wonder how much of it is the parenting hangover from our own childhoods. We did a load of stuff too and the things that stuck are things we truly loved. Having the opportunity to try things we chose ourselves was a bonus, as experimenting is a great way to figure out what you like (or don’t!).
I guess there are many ways of looking at it - I’m sure there are kids who wished their parents pushed them when they were given the option to choose not to, and those who resent being made to.
Thanks for helping me think of it beyond being a ‘wrong or right’. I also see the amount of activities my nieces and nephews do and wonder what they might say about it in a few years time!
Need to buy some balls! We live rurally and can’t walk to places from home so learning to ride his bike was really painful - and now he’s just not keen. I guess just another lesson in embracing the child you have, not the one you thought you’d have!
Enjoy the relaxation of no questioning ☺️
What you said there is so interesting… That whichever way we go, there’s a chance our children will think we should have done something differently. And I suppose that goes for all of parenting. So all we can do is whatever we think is best, in that moment, for them and for us as a family. X
Great to read thanks! Like all parenting (I assume 🤣) when you’ve sorted one stage, another rolls in. What’s on my mind at the moment is ‘extra curricular activities’ (and especially sport as we have some 9 year old boy hormones stirring)…..we too have a lot of unscheduled time at home- but being neurodivergent too, I wonder if I’m being selfish- as the thought of having to schedule even more things in is overwhelming. I’ve been meaning to ask other parents, as I just feel clueless and like I’m breaking an unwritten rule of parenting and should know better? Or possibly fatigued from having to follow up all the things I’ve tried to chase in the past, which have never materialised (oh yes we’re inclusive…..radio silence……). I’d love to know what other people’s thoughts or experiences are?
I love that you have brought this up. I was raised doing lots of different classes and clubs and sometimes I liked it and sometimes I really didn’t want to go but I had to. With my kids, I put them in for a few different classes when they were younger (ballet/football) and as soon as they wanted to stop, they stopped. Now, they tell me they don’t want to do anything and I don’t make them.
My feeling is that taking a self directed approach and letting them decide for themselves what they would like to learn more about or do will help them to commit to it when they start.
Totally hear you on feeling you don’t want to organise another thing and feeling fatigued - me too, and for that reason, I have often questioned whether I’m doing the right thing. But I’m having a rare chapter of feeling quite relaxed about it at the moment.
On movement: my pretty active boys have got skateboards and they love going to the park and whizzing down the hill sitting on them. We also take a ball to the park, or did in the summer, to play football or throw and catch. And a new trick I found that works with my youngest, who always wants to be carried but is now five and very heavy, is to play tag on the way to wherever we are going x
Thanks for sharing this. I relate to so much! One of my kids almost never eats dinner with the rest of us (and we usually do kitchen or couch), it's been so much better for everyone. Dinner is not the only time to connect, but other people struggle to understand. The part about your sister, I could've written it myself. And the need to be just us 4, yes!
This makes me hopeful. ❤️ thanks for sharing.
Thank you for being here too. x
I loved reading this as a Mom to two ASD toddlers. What you do for yourself you truly do for us all. This made me feel very seen and held, like I'd like for even my own children to feel.
I enjoyed reading this and it resonated. I understand the sadness of not being able to spend that time as a family doing things. It's so good to hear your children are all good at advocating from themselves, you've clearly done a great job. The circumstances ard difficult but its no ones fault - but the education system, trying to fit everyone into an efficient box, exacerbates everything. Thanks for sharing.