Jess Rad: Founder of The WomenHood

An interview with Jess Rad who was shortlisted in the 2024 National Diversity Awards as a positive role model for gender. Here, she talks about the impact of her ADHD and possible autism at home/work.

Jess Rad is founder of The WomenHood, connecting and supporting women through the unspoken challenges of womanhood. From menopause to money, imposter syndrome to neurodiversity, divorce to people pleasing.

Here, we discuss what life was like for Jess growing up, how she navigated higher education and entering the workforce, and then moving into the line of work - and campaigning - she does now. Also, motherhood. And, across it all, neurodivergence…

What was your upbringing like?

I’m the eldest of six children, five girls and one boy. So it was busy and fun. We played a lot of imaginary games together. My mum was also a childminder, and we were allowed to have friends over a lot, so our house was generally very full of children.

As the eldest, there was quite a lot of expectation on me to be a good role model, which for a long time I did my best to fulfil on. I’m grateful to have a very loving and supportive family.

How did you find school?

I remember my first day of school. I was so distressed at the prospect of it, I was screaming and kicking the teacher, and had to be forced to go. It did get better after that. I had to work hard to get good grades, and often had a sense that I was able to do better than I did, but there was something I was missing, or couldn’t quite access. Not uncommon for ADHDers.

What were you like, as a child?

I was very shy as a child. I hated talking to strangers. I found making phone calls excruciating. I was happiest in the safety of home with my family. From the ages of seven-14, I was very musical. I reached high grades in violin, double bass, music theory and learnt piano by ear for fun.

I was in the South Suffolk Intermediate Orchestra, a folk group, and offered a place at the London Guildhall School of Music for bass. I’m very grateful to my mum for facilitating all of that amongst so many other commitments and demands.

I discovered in Abigail Balfe’s brilliant book on neurodiversity ‘A different sort of normal’ that being musical (and labelled ‘shy’) are common but lesser-known traits of autism.

How did you find the social side of life?

I haven’t had a full assessment yet, but my screening showed I was on the cusp for autism. So whether I’m autistic or not, I, like many ADHDers, have many autistic traits. It was during my screening, when I had to reflect on my friendships growing up, that I realised how often these had been challenging for me to navigate.

That said, I did find it easy to connect with a diverse range of people. I didn’t like the segregation and cliches during sixth form, so would float between all the groups, able to flex my social skills to connect with very different personalities. Something that still serves me well today in life and work.

What was higher education like for you?

University was challenging for me. The lack of structure and explicit guidance really threw me. I felt lost and overwhelmed a lot of the time. Deadlines were very difficult to meet, and despite my best efforts I would always be left cramming at the last minute, which led to cycles of burnout.

I also got tonsillitis a lot. I’m a big believer in our body and mind being very connected, so a sore throat to me often signals that I’m not voicing my true feelings. Reflecting now, I suspect I was masking continuously throughout uni and it was exhausting. I also found the female friendships very difficult to navigate.

I did, however, get great satisfaction from exploring my interest in gender equity. My dissertation was ‘A Deconstruction of the Working Woman’, in which I explored how women combined their career aspirations and being a present mother. Ironically at 42, I’m still trying to figure that one out!

How did you feel, as you started your career?

My career began in marketing in entertainment. I fell into a fun industry and did a job that many envied and for much of it I enjoyed. I am a naturally creative person and I won awards for my creativity and innovation.

My sense of social justice and the desire to have a positive impact on the world grew as I got older and I felt the deep pull to do something important that could improve lives. It would take me a long time to figure out what that looked like.

What has motherhood been like, so far?

Motherhood has shown me a depth of love I didn’t think was possible. I feel so grateful to have two extraordinary kids that teach (and test!) me every day. My experience as a parent carer has forced me to become a warrior.

The health and education systems in the UK have been chronically underfunded for so long now you have to fight for everything. So I have learnt to fight. To use my voice. To be tenacious, strategic, to flex all of my strengths and learn to ask for help to secure the support my kids have needed and deserve.

I have grown in ways I never knew were possible. I know I would not be the woman I am today without them, and I feel very proud of who I am, and even prouder of my kids.

When did you start to wonder if you might be ADHD?

In 2021 I paused my life, divorce, and my work to dedicate my time and energy to securing my daughter an EHCP, her diagnoses and moving her out of mainstream to an environment that would meet her needs and enable her to flourish. During this process I asked my friend Jude to review some documents and she questioned ADHD.

Whilst we didn’t get this confirmed for my daughter, this began my exploration of something I had zero understanding of. The online tests all came back high, but I found many close to me were quite dismissive of this. It wasn’t until I followed a few of the right hashtags on instagram that I realised I found my people! I would watch the ‘funny’ videos of how this plays out in real life and couldn’t believe this wasn’t how everyone experienced life.

How did you feel, when it was confirmed?

It took me years to finally explore this properly (hilariously, like many ADHDers who just can’t face the paperwork). I chose to have a private screening by a neuroaffirmative clinical psychologist that understood masking and the internal presentation of autism and ADHD in females. My experience with my daughter has unfortunately left me quite distrustful and wary of the prevalence of the deficit-based language often used by most.

When I saw my QB check results of 99/100 (the most objective test there is for ADHD) and being on the cusp for autism, I felt quite shocked to be honest. But then quickly validation followed. And since then a huge sense of self compassion and self acceptance.

I truly believe understanding this about yourself is critical to self love and freedom, which is why the work I do in this space is aimed at the ‘neurocurious’. Without this knowledge about yourself, you are walking through life with blinkers on. (I liken it to being in perimenopause and not realising it.)

How does it manifest?

I am very creative and curious. I connect with people with ease. I’m passionate, energetic and spontaneous. I am a time optimist, I’m quite sure I can bend time to suit my needs! I am a dopamine-seeker, I love new experiences and am very sensory-seeking. I need loud techno to get things done! I can hyperfocus and exceed expectations. I have an abundance of attention, I notice things and make connections that can get missed. I have a strong sense of social justice and will say uncomfortable truths for the greater good. I am very empathetic and highly sensitive - emotionally and physically.

Can you tell us about The WomenHood?

The WomenHood uncovers and destigmatises the unspoken challenges of womanhood to close the gender gaps at work and home. We explore the issues that are impacting women’s daily quality of life and often long term health, across four areas: women’s health, neurodiversity, money and relationships. Creating content that normalises these experiences to alleviate the loneliness that so often accompanies womanhood today.

Through The Unspoken Sessions, we support organisations to improve gender equity by exploring these hidden challenges impacting women at work. We seek to change mindsets and cultures, to improve work for all. We reconnect women to themselves and each other, reminding them of their agency and improving their self advocacy to get their needs met.

We are now holding separate safe and brave spaces for men, to help increase knowledge, empathy and compassion for women’s issues and better equip them to have those previously unspoken conversations.

I am also a speaker on topics like perimenopause (having been diagnosed with premature menopause at 38), neurodiversity in females, and being a parent carer. I always seek the reframe and look for gifts in our greatest challenges as I have done throughout my own adversity.

Does your neurodivergent mind help you with your work?

Without a doubt. Many ADHDers are entrepreneurs. All of the positives I listed help me create The WomenHood, to connect with people and have a deep understanding of the challenges women face so I can find new solutions. I am dedicated to my mission and have an unwavering commitment to supporting women and marginalised genders.

What challenges does it bring?

The main challenges are the executive functioning issues. Time management, planning, organisation. I can get overwhelmed easily. I’ve been in premature menopause for the last four years too, and the decline of oestrogen has now been shown to amplify these traits. Combined with going through divorce and advocating for my kids, it has been very challenging at times to manage everything. I try not to be angry at my neurotype and seek self compassion or a break instead.

How do you spend your time, when you’re not working?

I love to hang out with my kids. I love sea swimming. I love to dance. To be in nature. To eat great food. Be around good people. Learn. Listen. Grow. To be wild and free!

Anything else you’d like to share about yourself, ADHD, work, motherhood, neurodivergence?

All of these are very combined for me. My own late identification as a neurodivergent woman has been truly life changing and I’m so determined to improve society’s perception of these neurotypes so that others can learn this about themselves and find the same freedom and self acceptance. Which is why it’s now interwoven into my work.

I am now also raising awareness of the experience of being a parent carer, and the impact on our work, money and health. I have several community-events planned for 2025 in Brighton with Platf9rm, and will be raising money for the SEND charity Amaze, which I am an ambassador for, who do critical work supporting parent carers here in Sussex. 

I believe the world needs a diverse array of minds and neuro-biologies to overcome its greatest challenges and I’m grateful to have discovered mine now. I hope in the future there is less ‘them and us’ and we can celebrate everyone’s individuality.

www.thewomenhood.com