Finding your day-to-day focus
With a clear focus, we thrive and without it, we falter. So, how do you find the right focus for your work-life?
Being at home with a child who is unable to attend school, or having to be on-hand to collect after a half day (or less), means there isn’t always much time for work.
I know, firsthand, how frustrating this can be.
However, I also know that when I have something to focus on outside of motherhood, that is just for me, I’m able to return to my caring duties with new energy.
When I was writing my latest book, Raise your SQ, I interviewed Dr Louise Lagendijk’s who said: Having focus is a highly underestimated element of health.
She told me that her patients will come to her complaining of pain or illness and after checking all their nutrient levels, gut health and the physical side of things, she’ll check their mental health.
Eventually, the patient will say: hold on, I’ve just realised I don’t like how I’m spending my day-to-day.
Now, we don’t always get to change the shape of our days all that much when we’re caring for neurodivergent children. And, of course, they are a large part of our focus.
But it can feel important, for many of us, to also do something creative, or intellectual, or that will earn us an income, alongside mothering.
And there is almost always at least a small window of opportunity to do something for ourselves. Even if it’s 10 minutes a day.
My central nervous system really likes it when I’m focused.
That’s one of the reasons I created this platform, Raising Neurodivergence. It’s a focus away from caring duties (even if it’s partly about them).
It’s why I continue writing on my personal Substack, too.
And it’s why I’m committing to writing a certain amount of words for my novel each day. It’s usually once my kids are in bed but if another window appears, I use that too.
Writing is my work focus.
It’s the activity that gets me into flow-state. It feels therapeutic and creative and as if I’m taking something for myself. Plus, it’s how I earn a living.
Now, over to you.
I’m going to share some prompts for you to work through in your own time that might help you to work out what you’d like your career focus to be…
Your focus
As a child, what did you want to be - work-wise - when you grew up?
Are you doing any of that now?
If not, why not?
If you are, does it still feel like the most important work for you to be doing?
If you were to spend a day doing just one thing, what would it be?
What do you love about doing that thing?
Does this connect to your work, or could it?
Imagine I said that I would pay you £100,000 a year, every year, and you could decide what work you were doing. What would you be doing?
How many days a week?
What would your working hours be?
What would you be doing between or around those working hours to make you feel good (hobbies, exercise, etc)?
How much time would you spend alone and how much time would you spend with other people?
How do you make money at the moment (if you do)?
Do you like earning money in this way?
If you’re not currently earning, or don’t like how you’re earning money, what would feel like the most amazing way to earn your income?
Who do you look to and think: I would love to work like that; to do what they are doing?
Do you like the idea of doing one type of work for a long time, let’s say years, or doing shorter projects?
What fits better with your personal life: having employment/ongoing client work or picking up projects then having periods of no paid work?
If you’re self-employed: what part of running your own business do you love?
What do you hate?
What are you best at?
What pocket of time could you commit to focus on the one thing you’d most like to be doing, each day/week?
If your child is at home at the moment, is there anyone who could help you so that you have this time to focus on your work?
I’d love to hear what’s come up for you, in the comments, if you’d like to share.
Annie x